How Many Gifts Is too much to Buy Kids for a Meaningful Christmas

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Consumerism and Commercialism have become a huge part of our holidays so how does a parent keep Christmas meaningful and exciting without overdoing the gifts?

This has been my question since my first baby’s cries. The holiday season was easy with just one child and he was so little, gifts meant nothing but a few minutes of entertainment. It wasn’t until the kid’s began to grow into the elementary years that the expectations became ingrained. At this point kids know “what I am owed” for Christmas and it’s not always “cute” to the parent. So how many gifts are too many? How do we give fewer gifts and yet raise the Christmas spirit higher? Let’s dive in.

Signs Your Kids Have Too Many Gifts

Wondering if you’ve been giving your children too many presents? Here are some signs:

• You find a holiday gift in your kids closet still in the box…from last Christmas.
• Your kid’s toys tend to stay out all over the house on the floor, on tables, but never put away.
• Your kid’s items tend to get broken but are never grieved over once gone.
• Your kids have received several things, but can’t seem to find anything to do just days after Christmas.
• At Christmas gatherings, there is a lack of gratefulness for gifts received.
• It’s become normal for your child to complain about gifts they’ve been given.

This is not meant to be a diagnoses but to give you an idea of what it could look like when a child has been receiving too many gifts.

How Less Possessions Can Help Play

In an experiment with over 30 children ages 18-30 months, researchers watched by cameras how the kid’s played during two separate play visits.

“When in the playroom with 16 toys, children played with more toys and spent less time with each one over a 15-minute session, the researchers found. When the same kids were in a room with four toys, they stuck with each toy longer, exploring other toys less over the 15 minutes.”

Occupational Therapist Alexia Metz led the study at the University of Ohio to see how the amounts of toys influenced child play.

The results don’t pinpoint the optimal number of toys for optimal child development, Metz says. “It’s a little preliminary to say this is good and that is bad,” she says. But she points out that many kids are not in danger of having too few toys. In fact, the average number of toys the kids in the study had was 87. Five families didn’t even provide toy counts, instead answering “a lot.”

Consequences of Too Many Gifts

The signs shared above are connected to having more things given than they can keep up with while the consequences of receiving too many gifts at Christmas are a bit slower to see. These are also longer lasting. Does simply giving your children too many presents at Christmas or birthdays cause mental and emotional damage?

More likely it’s the whole parenting strategy. Parents that are more likely to give many gifts to their kids might also spoil them in other ways that cause problems. For example:

• Kids with less “things” as a whole and more positive parental involvement and friendships score higher on self esteem assessments than those who have excess of possessions but relational or family problems.
• Kids with less things tend to be more resilient when life obstacles come.
• More possessions results in less creativity with Toys.
• More possessions results in Less time spent on each toy.

Other Reasons to Purchase Fewer Gifts

I’ve broken down the reasons to purchase less presents down to three categories. You may wonder why I don’t have “Focusing on the true Christmas spirit” or something like that as one of the categories. The reason is I believe the ability to focus on the true meaning of Christmas is a result of these. When you take away the gifts for any of these reasons, the result naturally tends to be that you CAN then focus on The True meaning of Christmas! The story of the baby Jesus, is much more powerful than any toy.

Budget

Perhaps you’ve read about Christmas at Laura Ingalls house or watched a movie where money was tight. The character’s expectations for Christmas gifts was very small, but their excitement for the season still grew as did their determination to give the best they could.

In my own life I’ve hear story after story about how simple Christmases resulted in some of the best memories. If you are low on cash this year and it keeps you from purchasing gifts how you want to, try to shift your expectations of the season. Having a lean Christmas budget may just be the best blessing you get this year. It may allow you and your children to take the focus off material possessions and put it on relationships and experiences.

While The USA, UK and Germany are the biggest spenders on Christmas, just imagine how many other countries that leaves. Most don’t spend even half of what the U.S. pays. Italy, Belgium and the Netherlands are some of these countries. Do they have a meaningful Christmas time. Oh Yes! If you’ve never looked at the celebrations among European countries you’re missing some Christmas Spirit indeed!

Christmas time is made of much more than money and lowering your budget may help you enjoy the Christmas spirit even more.

Raising Selfless Confident Kids

It’s no surprise professionals have recognized an epidemic of entitlement among youth today. The amount of toys and possessions have gone up along with the amount of options and advertisements calling to them from social media and more.

30 years ago I waited on Thanksgiving morning to glance at the Sears and JCPenney holiday catalogs. The toys in those catalogs would sum up almost all options for department store Christmas gifts. Don’t get me wrong, I think kids could’ve had the “give me, give me” attitude just as much back then. On the other hand, when one is given less options, we tend to expect less as well.

With all the choices and pressure to give them that perfect gift (which is actually about 20 perfect gifts), how do we encourage kids to think about others instead of themselves?

One answer is to replace the getting with giving. Sure, it’s fun to receive new toys at Christmas, but a truly confident and kindhearted child has learned that love is actually given in time and experiences with people.

Decluttering After Christmas

Much of my original desire to have less gifts came as I realized how easily a home could get turned upside down from possessions that could not be cared for. Believe it or not, we only have so much productivity to give in a day and every single item we own needs to be cared for. It needs to be put away, cleaned, kept up and sometimes repaired.

A recent study has shown how clutter in the home is connected with higher cortisol levels. Cortisol is the stress hormone our body creates. Interestingly, women are more prone to have stress levels raised from clutter. In addition, it can also cause mental overload and spur on ADHD tendencies.

Going through the day after Christmas clutter for just a couple years convinced me that I couldn’t actually care for all the gifts I was getting my kids. At their age, they also didn’t have the maturity to care for every single gift item either. it was just too much.

What is the Right Number of Gifts for Your Family

This leads to the question of how to proceed with gift giving. How much is too much and what is the right number of Christmas presents for your family? Unfortunately there may not be one right answer. Here are a few ideas that may help you find a way to make Christmas both more simple for you and meaningful for your children with less gifts.

The right number of gifts will, of course, depend on several factors: your family size, your own capacity, if you include “needs” with your gifts, and more.

Three-Gift Rule

The 3-gift rule emphasizes the three gifts of the wise men: Gold, frankincense and Myrrh. It is a Christian based gift plan made to bring the Christmas story into gift giving traditions.

• Gold was costly and is best painted by the big ticket item gift under the tree.
• Frankincense symbolizes something spiritual. This could be a bible, journal, book or other item that grows your child spiritually.
• Myrrh was used on the Body and represents the gift idea of something used for the body. This could be clothing, shoes, lotion or even hair care things.

Four-Gift Rule

The 4-gift rule has become popular in recent years as it included a variety of gifts with a solid limit. It also has a catchy rhyme. “Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.”

I’ve had experience with attempting these guidelines but personally struggled with having to get “exactly” those items. It soon just became buying three gifts or so.

How We do One Toy Under the Tree

How low can you go? Perhaps the biggest question isn’t how much is too much but how few can you get? Can you do Christmas with just one present under the tree? While it is possible, I’ve found it to be quite hard. Why? Because although presents are for someone else, there’s also a joy that we get out of giving them.

Last year, our family was especially low on cash and decided to do a much simpler Christmas than usual. In order to keep the same excitement level on Christmas morning we shifted the focus off presents under the tree to the stockings. We purchased each kid one big toy for under the tree but found meaningful smaller gifts to make their stockings special.

How to Focus on Stockings

Modern day stockings in the United States are generally a more overlooked part of the Christmas Tradition. While parents spend time and energy to get all the perfect gifts for under the tree, stockings can become the after thought. Many a brain dead mom has spent the few days before Christmas searching Pinterest for stocking stuffer ideas.

Instead of focusing on the big ticket items found under the Christmas tree, why not simplify the Holiday and make stockings more fun? That may be more enjoyable for both you and your family members. We focus on stockings by finding meaningful stocking stuffers first and only having one to two gifts under the tree for each child.

I’ve found this really helps my brain organize gifts much better than trying to evenly give several big presents to each kids under the tree.

Finding Meaningful Gifts for All the Family Members

No matter the age group. the best gifts come in all shapes and sizes. Thoughtful gifts aren’t necessarily the biggest gifts nor the most expensive gifts.

Start With Family Gifts

Instead of just looking at your kid’s Christmas list, why not first consider what would be a good gift for the WHOLE family? This is a season to bring family together is it not? Perhaps you could find something both older siblings and younger siblings can enjoy together.

Board games, tickets to the movies, a museum, or a special audio series for that road trip coming up are all great ideas. Outdoor items are also great family gifts. A basketball hoop, a set for family laser tag or a zip line.

The great thing about family gifts is it’s ability to bring the family together again and again long after it’s been given. I remember one year my uncle gave each family with kids a giant inflatable ball. I have such fond memories of cousins running after that huge ball outside under the glow of holiday lights Christmas night.

Younger Kids

When left to their own devises, young kids are easily swayed by bright advertisements. One of the best ways to find a meaningful gift for a young child though, is to take note of what they play with on a daily basis. Legos? dolls? Arts and Crafts? Blocks? Trains? Magna tiles? What do they gravitate toward? What do they like to learn about?

As mentioned in the study above, even if given many different types of toys, young children tend to play creatively with fewer toys. Choosing your gifts based on the toys with which he or she could spend hours, makes the gift much more meaningful.

Older Kids

Older kids also have their own hobbies, but unlike younger children, they may begin to ask for more personal items such as shoes or clothing. Gift lists tend to become much more specific.

“No Mom, I wanted the light blue jeans, not the charcoal wash.”

One of the most meaningful things you can do at this age is listen and share clear expectations for Christmas gifts. Make sure they understand the budget and amount of gifts to expect. Then listen to specific wishes.

As with younger kids, older kids will also have specific creative hobbies you might identify. Do they love knitting? are they into specific games, or sports. How can you find a gift they are drawn to which will encourage their ingenuity and creativity? What activity do they get lost in for hours?

Extended Family

It can be hard to get a wish list from extended family but just knowing a little about the person or family as a whole can give you a good idea of what they’ll enjoy. Small gifts can still be meaningful and when you don’t know someone closely, you can always grab gift cards for a store they love.

Christmas Shopping doesn’t have to be stressful when you can realize families will always need fun food items and memory pieces. A custom Canvas Portrait of their family or a photo calendar of their dogs are both unique and useful. It doesn’t have to be a big expensive gift.

Stocking Stuffers

I mentioned above how our family has chosen to bring the focus off the pile of presents under the tree. Instead we make stockings more exciting. In all honesty, I’ve had overflowing stockings that have spilled a gift or two under the tree. That’s ok though. I’m not legalistic about it. More so, I’m intentional about the purpose of what I’m doing.

A few of our stuffers are always the same such as a new toothbrush, some tape ( since mine always disappears) and fun band aids. After those things, I’ll sometimes add needs such as socks and then a few fun gifts. Lastly I add the fun stuff: A yoto player card, a small lego set, or even bath toys.

The difference now compared to years past is that I’m much more purposeful about what I choose to give.

How to Make A Meaningful Christmas Morning

We’ve talked about how you can ruin a child with too many gifts. Now let’s forget the number of presents and think about what really makes the best Christmas. This time of year is about more than just Christmas day.

In times past, 12 days were celebrated to span the first days of the Christ child, ending with a celebration of the wise men’s arrival. Gifts were not a regular part of celebrations but carols and celebrations were.

In my conversations with people regarding their best Christmas memories, they usually have one particular gift they remember, but several experiences that made an impression on their lives.

Time making cookies with a grandparent, cocoa with the family, or a surprise holiday visit have all come up.

As for the time spent around the tree, giving attention to each person as they open gifts can make the giving tradition more about the whole group and not just about the one receiving the gift.

While there might not be a magic number for how many gifts to buy, you can still lessen the load and turn the focus toward the most important thing: the ultimate gift of a savior to a world in need of hope and peace.

Other Christmas Posts You May Like

I hope this post has inspired your Holiday preparations and if you’re looking for more holiday related posts check these out.

Recipe for Christmas Chicken Whole in the Instant Pot

Homemade Christmas Morning Chai Recipe in the Instant Pot

Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Deer Hunters They Will Actually Use

How to Cook a Frozen Beef Roast in the Oven No Instant Pot Required

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

From the Hilltop.

Krista